there are some days when i don't feel.
i'm just moving. unsure of where it is i'm headed.
my breathing is mechanical and consistent.
it's like the world is living in slow motion and i'm just there.
watching.
a tourist.
but there are other days when i feel so much that my heart could burst.
an explosion of pain. blinding this dark world we call home.
what i feel is the same as what everyone else feels.
but i'm just too afraid to admit it.
afraid to say the words that want to break out of me.
to scream into the universe so people will know that i'm breaking.
but i eat those words.
words coated with sugar so the swallowing is easier.
i am human.
i am not a tourist.
i am a writer. a creator.
you want to know why i'm human?
it's because no matter how hard i try, i still love you.
because when you touch me it leaves little scars that won't ever go away.
i bleed.
i think.
and feel.
and touch.
i love.
and i love too much.
and i break.
i'm human because i'm full of the words that i choke on as i swallow.
that don't know how to come out.
the words that i am.
